Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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