so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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