the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
