Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
