Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
