The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
