i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
