Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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