You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Green mimosas i think yes
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
