Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
