we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish my penis had a tongue
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
