Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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