hell yes lets make some ravioli
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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