I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
