grandma shit on top of the toilet
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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