I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
