is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
