We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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