Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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