My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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