OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
