Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
