just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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