Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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