just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
