The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
