Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
