we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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