i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
