Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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