When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
