i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
