He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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