I heard we made out
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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