So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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