wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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