you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
