whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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