if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
