never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just gift wrapped bread.
This house was built for laser tag.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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