we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
