Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
