awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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