well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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