I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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