whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
