OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
