i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
