I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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