i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you would pick up someone in the library
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
There are leaves in my underwear?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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