After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
