They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
